I can't watch pbs sober anymore
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you traded sex for a burrito?
Did you just see the Batmobile???
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize