The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
cat food counts as protein by the way
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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