Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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