hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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