The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I believe in your delicious
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
