I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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