i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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