i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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