Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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