You really coming over, don't trick.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
