she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
