i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
