But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
