I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
you had me at cake vodka
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
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