wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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