thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
