that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
