You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
