Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
