You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
