i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize