he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
