Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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