One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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