and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
