Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
