is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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