Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
they need to just BURY HIM!
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
