The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
