Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
