i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
