I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
