i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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