shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Randomize