feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
