Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
did you just send me my own nude
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
