The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
