This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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