i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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