i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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