I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Im part way to drunk.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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