I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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