Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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