my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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