He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
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