I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
