My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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