I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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