My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
