We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
