A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
