As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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