please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
