So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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