Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
