brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
