she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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