Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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