I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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