Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
