You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
