Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
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