i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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