I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
