Me too!
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
