Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
