Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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